From the day you were born you followed me everywhere I went. I remember you only wanted whatever I had, and not a duplicate; you wanted the one in my hand. Not because you were jealous, but because you wanted to be just like me. I hated the fact that you put my matchbox cars in your mouth. I never forgave you for staining my Yoda shirt with your vomit.

Dude that bow and arrow stunt is the most classic move anyone ever did. You really pissed off Dad that time. That one moment gave me and you more laughter than probably any other thing. No one else gets it, but we do.

You sucked at sports, including snow boarding just in case you were wondering. You might have been a decent skate boarder but we didn't have that one in common. You looked good in a football uniform though, better than usual.

Those middle years went by fast, I was gone for 8 years at one point before I came home again. From that point forward I visited you a lot. When I came to the village you would sleep on the couch every night just waiting for me to come home and pay attention to you. I always did too, you might not of liked it but I never forgot you once.

I loved it when you came to Seattle for the summer. You never could hold your liquor, not at 16 and not at 26. Everyone there loved you from day one, Sean still asks me about you every time we talk. You know he owes his life to you and I from that one day, you know what I'm talking about. Me and you worked together and saved his life, I admired you so much that day.

Words can't explain the trip to Europe we took. I think you learned something about yourself on that trip - everyone loved you. You made friends everywhere you went without trying. How the fuck did the hot girl go for you and not me? I still call bullshit on that but whatever everyone gets lucky once. The running of the bulls was fantastic and doing that with you will be one of my fondest memories forever. No one can understand that chaos unless you were there. I never thought I would admit it, but you did beat my ass that night in Lisbon Portugal - I'm still to this day not sure how. I had a lot of respect for you after that.

You know when the real bad part of our lives happened - did you wonder if I ever forgave you? The answer is I never blamed you, it was not your fault at all. Did you know that? I don't think you did. We got so close after that, it almost seemed like it was meant to be that way just for that reason alone.

You coming here to live with me was the best thing ever. 2 years we lived under the same roof and I loved being around you. Your attitude pissed me off sometimes but it was because you were changing into a man. You packed in so many life lessons so fast it was hell on you sometimes. I loved watching you do something that you didn't want to do, it showed me your true qualities as a man. You never did it quietly, you'd rant and rave about it but that's ok - you were doing the right things just loudly. You made friends with all my friends without even trying. You excelled at your job and impressed everyone.

You were always a pudgy kid. You started your own style of weight loss that pretty much included not eating and working out 2 hours a day. I was jealous for so many reasons including the fact that you could restrain yourself that well, that you had the time to work out that much, and most of all your results. I never told you how good you looked because I was jealous. I was always skinny when we were kids and you were the fat one. Look at us now huh? Those two pictures you sent up to disarray were gay as shit, you're not John Basedow so cut it out. However, you looked fucking great man. Fucking great.

You left here after a couple of years because you knew that being here under my wing wasn't the right thing. Crazy when you think about that, your whole life you just wanted to be like me and then all of a sudden you need to do it yourself. You ultimately moved to Florida instead of going back to the village. Do you know how proud of you I am for that? Words can't express how impressed with you I am for doing that.

I wish I had gotten a chance to come down to Florida and see the house that you were living in, see the life that you had created for yourself. You were just starting out down there so I know you thought it was nothing but you don't know how great what you just did was. I wish I could tell you that now.

I will never be the same without you, but what is really sad to me is that I've gotten used to you changing me. You changed me the last time on Friday December 5th 2008 at 1:00am when all of you and half of me died.

All that is left of you now are the changes you gave to everyone who knew you. That's why I couldn't think of any better way to say good bye to you than to say it in front of the people you touched.

I will see you one last time Thursday at 4pm in Loudonville, OH at the Byerly Lindsay funeral home. We will have a service for you on Friday at 11am.

I was thinking the other day of what good ole' TotalDisarray really is... At first I thought it was a website about (the now men of) 3872, then once upon a time I thought of it as Northern VA's open to the public blog of the wildest drunk idiots around, and then as of late I've been thinking that it has become a place for some less than wild guys to share funny pictures, because the stories sure have dried up.

We're all guilty of not writing stories anymore, but the pics script keeps the site alive still knocking down well over 1000+ unique visitors a day... Hard to believe really when you consider we never charged a penny and paid lots of money out of pocket back in the day to keep the site around.

Which really reminds me of one of the finer points of this site - remembering back when we all threw a fund raiser to "Save Disarray" and that's when I realized what this site really is. It's one of many, but it's our personal community of friends just absolutely packed with inside jokes and humor that only 'We' get, but for some reason others seem to enjoy... like a window into the sorking village...

I want to say thanks to everyone who made this a cool community for us to share and to thank those who have contributed to it over the last damn near 8 years, if you look back at the pictures on this site (well OVER 10,000 unique picturs of US - can you believe that shit?) you can see what a kick ass group of friends we have.

Now that you're hooked you sucker, read on a bit more please. As many of you know, and many of you do not, my mother-in-law has been battling terminal cancer for years. I'm happy to say she is living well beyond what doctors said originally and has a great quality of life still. Save your comments of concern and/or compassion for another day, because today is not the day. However, my wife (Shannon Fabian) and a few of her friends (Mara Tiede, and others) are doing a charity walk for cancer and are also having a fund raising event. I am hoping that you guys can come together for yet another great cause and donate some of your massive amounts of wealth.

Here's the details:

Donations can be made at www.the3day.org in the names of Shannon Fabian, Mara Tiede, Tina Markle, Mia Fellner, Julie McLin, Katie Johnson, or Sonia Perez. We will be having a fundraiser on Saturday, August 16th at the Bungalow Billiards in Cascades starting with a bikini carwash from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. behind bungalow. ThatGuy will be doing a reunion show from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. and Hell n back will be playing that night from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. During the day we will have games, a dunktank, pink drink specials, a raffle and a silent auction...(including dates with the bar staff!!!) All the money we make from this event will be donated to our team goal of $2,200 per person and anything we have left if and after we reach our goal will be donated to my mom to help with her huge pile of medical bills. We've got some really good prizes lined up for the raffle and auction.

So, even if you can't make it to the fund raiser - which will be fun (I'm going to sit in the dunk tank for a half hour taunting you dick heads), you could donate money at www.the3day.org in the name of 'Shannon Fabian' or 'Mara Tiede' which would be a VERY appreciated and respectable thing to do.

Thanks assholes!

If your lazy as shit like me, then just use: